You see, you snag them with a catchy title like that, then you just lead them on. Isn't that what clickbait is all about? Then again, if you've been following me to any extent, you probably already know I have nothing grandeur, meaningful, or remotely interesting to say, and I wear that shit like a crown of honor. I am anti-bait! No baiting in my kingdom, not even the mastur type! Well, we'll allow that. Otherwise you might go a little crazy.
Sup? I've been... gone? Sorta. More not around. Yes, they're different!
So where have I been? That's a million dollar question wrapped in a Snickers wrapper there. After my more-or-less departure from here, I sort of floated about. Been trying to get work for a while, but can't really find a place that takes someone that looks like me and doesn't have a diploma from a college. Mind you, any diploma, from any college, because they're not actually looking for skills: just someone to make their fiscal assets look more investment-worthy. I did find out I can return to school for free, because apparently the 149 IQ, 3.645 high school GPA, and 4.0 college GPA and Dean's List Accommodation actually matter to most educational facilities. And yes, that means, holy shit, full-time student can totally be a job. In that regard, I have no real excuses, aside from distance; finance for food, housing, and transport; and lack of willingness to put up with that immense level of bullshit again. What few types of colleges I would enjoy to attend though are so far out of this state that It might be cheaper to fly than drive. I've realized my drive in art doesn't need education as much as motivation and resource, and what I'd like to learn more of involves the background work of music and audio production. That said, I almost returned to school for psychology, until I realized that my history of handling insanity both within and without, my two-year intense psychoactive drug binge, and my own mindset, as well as the resource of wealth that is available for free to study on the internet which I often do just for fun actually put me at the point that it would only be to get the diploma, which I then probably wouldn't "use", as most people with problems don't go to a psychologist, and that I find I prefer helping others just because it's self-enlightening in a lot of ways. Not to diss the field at all, but I relate more to people like myself; the kind too broke to seek professional help. Today I had to decide if I had appendicitis or if it was something I would live through, because you're only worth as much as you have in your wallet in a capitalist society, and I have negative thirty dollars. I have to pay to reactivate my bank account. A lot of stories about being poor aside, I'm doing... okay? I get to eat every so often, I have a place to stay because I'm an entertaining enough object that the people paying the bills are cool with it, and I only occasionally have to compare me being alive to the cost of an ambulance ride and an MRI, so I have no real right to complain. I'm looking for a lot more though. A good band, a decent job, travel: a life, you know? Not just surviving but living. Guess that sort of stuff comes with time and opportunity though.
Bronydom: I can't really say I'm still in it. The show is fine, yo, except for a few snags I've heard on the grapevine (does that saying make me old?); it's more than I'm just outside the quote-unquote fandom. As I've grown, I've realized I don't really care for collectives harbored under devotion. Fans are nice, but I like people who will challenge what they don't believe in, and the "fan" mindset typically abhors that. Your idol says something stupid, you're more likely to defend it than call it out if it lays on a status. So in short, it's still a cool show. I'll probably watch it from time to time, maybe make art on rare occasions, but I try to willfully keep out of the circles I have no business in. That said, I think I'm maybe a full season behind, no telling how many comics, and a hell of a ways back in terms of "news". Last wind I caught was something about a comic artist being sexist and lashing out at fans under the shield of feminism or something like that, I dunno; none of my business, really.
Anyway, I don't know how many more visits I'll really have here. Amnesia makes things that aren't on the forefront of thought vanish for long intervals. So, various contact info! Skype, for anyone looking, is sinistraltome
"Why not CosmicWaltz?" That name seemed to have fit a particular time and persona in my life, and I feel it's time to continue on as my own entity out of that name. I'm not ashamed of any of it, as I feel people are always growing, and those that hold the past over someone else are just showing how they themselves are stunted and afraid. So, this will be an archive of my past. As well as a twitter account I can't recall a single detail of, a few tumblrs that I think I closed because the site annoyed me, and somewhere there's most likely an archive of the few bits of porn I drew. Time is fun.
"Why sinistraltome?" Because when I tried to get an xbox live account some years back, it first assigned me "erroneousmetal" which bored me, so I used the free change to hit shuffle a few times and eventually got "sinistraltome." It humors me. Literally, I means "left-hand book", and figuratively, it would be something akin to a Satanic book of worship. By the way, you can try to find that name on xbox, but I haven't had one since... 2013? Maybe?
There's also a few youtube pages I occasionally pop into. Of course, there's my primary, which is still CosmicWaltz7. I've put over 400 songs under a music folder, so I'm sort of stuck with it. I post stuff under two others, though: ShortPunch and Fine Ass Records. ShortPunch was a foray into recording game footage, as it seemed like fun, but has since been pretty quiet due to the need for equipment and the lack of interest over current events. Fine Ass Records is where I occasionally post music, and is a page I'm looking to expand with, again, equipment. Microphones are expensive, dammit.
Anyway, if anyone cares, that's where you can find me. Skype is the best bet, or emailing at email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org , the former over the latter. And if you do send something on Skype, let me know about it in the comment field. There's a lot of "hotbabe97"s and "obviousrobotpreyingonsexappeal94"s that I have to keep filtering out. XD
Anyone want to buy some comics, by the way? I think I have like 40 of them or so, I'd have to count. MLP comics, I mean. I'd be willing to go $2 an issue with shipping, regardless. The more I realize how the gears in my head work, the more I realize that owning things holds me back far too often. I'm honestly looking to sell nearly everything I own that isn't music, musical, clothing, or the rare few personal items. That also includes a glass signed by Jon De Lancie, if anyone is interested. I have no goddamn idea how to price that. And for more eclectic tastes, I have a shelf of religious, occult, philosophical, scientific, and otherwise just unique books. Two of the occult ones I paid over $600 for. What can I say: eclectic.
Anyway, there are a few of you in particular I'd like to see contact me, if only for the memories. I don't have too many of those myself, mind, but some things can jar them back. I know I started this page in... 2012? August, I think. Maybe even 2011. I don't actually remember anything about those times, though. Earliest thing I can clearly recall is... November, of 2013. Actually... I just remembered the old mobile format for this site. It was 7 or so text boxes on a deep-hunter-green backdrop. Ads on top, and bottom. Ha! Hey, maybe I'm not hopeless!
Now, for one last "anyway", I'll see you guys around. Parting words, though? Always grow. Never stop growing. Life is far too precise to get caught up in things that hold you back. And in time, hopefully you'll be able to see through all the lies we're told everyday, and through all the noise of being told what is right or wrong by forces outside yourself. You'll let go of any hate and replace it with love. And those that come into your life, even if only transiently, will begin to grow as well because of it. Thanks for everything guys; this has been an awesome experience.
AND I'M NOT DYING! *Ray Narvaez Jr reference* I just may not be around here too often anymore. PEACE!