Journal Entry: Sun Mar 23, 2014, 2:53 AM
Let's get this party going, eh? And this is the first time I think I've said that that wasn't followed by wonton self destruction and illegality. But hay, when you're good at something, put on a show! I'm trying to get out of that mindset, bear with me. Because bears. Bears are scary. And fluffy.
I'm cleaning up. Pretty well. I've had one drink since, and I did buy a pack of cigarettes, but that was a stressful moment where my neighborhood was locked down by the police and everyone was being searched. The search wasn't my problem, but not having valid proof of (despite the fact of) auto insurance will be putting a $250-$400 court fee on top of my current outstanding debts. Whoops. Also, cracked windscreens are illegal. Who knew that one? You do now. Come to America; we'll find that something you don't know is illegal, we promise. But hay, whatevs. I've been lower. Hell, I've been homeless! Wasn't too bad, but if I'm sticking to my honesty, I did spend most of the time out of my head both in stress-induced psychosis and on a myriad of cheap drugs. Whoops, again. I'M GETTING BETTER, I SWEAR. Super serial, gais.
I'm a little manic right now, yeah. I've kind of been in a slump for a while. A long while. Part was withdrawals from, well, everything. Then came the existential sludge. Almost relapsed pretty bad, but luckily, I stand by the idea that malaise is in the mind. So, I decided to hurl myself back into art and experience. And it seems partially into comedy. I've been getting good at that too. Or good again. Gooder again. Sure.
Now, for the meat of the argument. My laptop, the old art-beast, is pretty boned. Screen is broken, memory is out, and the space is pretty much maxed. That's been half the culprit; the other half is my personal laziness. I'll work on that some. Tomorrow. But I have found a way to sort of piggy-back it to my known art-beast Win PC. Basically, I can use it's memory, speakers, and screen while still accessing the basic hard drive and components of the laptop. Call it life support.
I'm currently lighting a cigarette. Only two left and no intention for more. In fact, I plan to save the last for about 3 days into the jitters to stop wanting to rip my own head off out of frustration (which is a little different than what Kristof Azninski did).
Anyway, I've found my muse is buried in music and community. Who knew? (Anyone who probably remembers my old days, and if you bring those days up, I may deny them >.>) So, I'm getting back into the spirit. The Wintop is my writing blob, and the Mactop is my art bastard still. I come up with weird appellations. I used a big word! Been awhile, huh? So, I'm actually going to continue those cards. I know, right? Who remembers those? Who's still reading? No one? Probably. Cudos if you are. Shout out to WhitewolfStormrunner, who is probably my biggest yet most reserved fan given my favorites notifications. It's not that I haven't noticed, whoever you are, I'm just not good at accepting compliments. I'm trying to work on that. But you rock. Whoohoo! But yeah! Cards. Hasbro's sort of sucked. And if/when I get them finished, I'm going to lower my charge to basically manufacturing costs. More for community anyway, and what's the point of a fandom project if no one can afford to enjoy them? I know I can't. SEGUE! Commissions are open, because if you've missed the subtlety (I can't afford to breathe!) I'm fairly broke. Lifestyle consumes most of my work pay (I'm part time, as most places are, and food, gasoline, and basic hygiene is friggin' expensive!), not counting the bills which I've gone in debt on, and the court cost for not having a 2"x3.5" piece of paper that says the same thing as the card from 3 months ago. Every bit counts, you know? No plans of grandeur. I know BronyCon isn't on my plate anymore, since, honestly, work slacks aren't on my plate anymore. Which, I don't know why I had pants on my plate. Maybe I'm a slob. But I did find a Poptart in my car, and it was delicious. And one time I found a sock in a drinking glass on the floor in the living room, but that was my roommate. And another time I found a sandwich in a glass! He may have an unhealthy obsession with putting mundane-yet-unusual-in-circumstance items in glasses. I don't pry. Everyone has hobbies. Even weird ones. So, all around price reduction on commissions! I'll make a list after work.
Let's bring back some staples of my blogging that no one every cared about!
Of late, I've been listening to a combination of stuff.
Cancer Bats - Lucifer's Rocking Chair
Goddamn Gallows - Y'all Motherf[yay!]kers Need Jesus [explicit]
Cynic - Integral Birth
At The Drive-In - Arcarsenal
Peeping Tom - Your Neighborhood Spaceman
Handsome Boy Modelling School - A Day In The Life
Genuwine - My Pony
Taking a moment to slow down, I am sticking to this. Trying to pull a life together is rather difficult, but nothing compared to what happens if you don't. And it's closer than heaven. You guys have been awesome. Thank you.
Now, back to getting things done before my work shift. TO THE CLOTHES DRYER! AWAY!
Listening to: Slow Drain by The Exies